Ill-Equipped for a Life of Sex: A Memoir
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$25.95
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$1.49
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Availability: N/A
Manufacturer: William Morrow
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Average Customer Rating:  
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Binding: Hardcover
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.7
EAN: 9780060741570
ISBN: 0060741570
Label: William Morrow
Manufacturer: William Morrow
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 352
Publication Date: 2004-08-17
Publisher: William Morrow
Release Date: 2004-08-17
Studio: William Morrow
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Editorial Reviews:
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We quickly became the typical I-must-talk-to-you-every-night-and-drive-over-to-your-house-at-10-p.m.-because-I-absolutely-cannot-go-to-sleep-if-I'm-not-in-the-same-bed-as-you couple falling in love ... But just as quickly our honeymoon period came to an end. At first it wasn't clear. And then it was very clear. And then it was so fucking clear that John and I found ourselves driving to Beverly Hills for couples therapy. When Jennifer Lehr found herself, at age twenty-eight, falling in love with a brilliant, kind, supportive comic named John, she breathed a sigh of relief. After a decade spent in a string of destined-to-fail relationships, and countless hours of therapy trying to repair the damage, her Mr. Right had come along. Even Jennifer's judgmental grandparents had no choice but to succumb to John's considerable charms. Happily ever after? Not so fast. True love, Jennifer soon discovers, doesn't necessarily go hand-in-hand with a white-hot sex life. Just months into the relationship, she finds herself grappling with the question: What do you do when you find the committed, loving partnership you've always hoped for, but the sex is just so-so ... that is, when and if it happens at all? Distraught, yet dedicated to making their relationship work, Jennifer and John embark on couples therapy, twelve-step meetings, romantic getaways, Scheduled Date Nights ... and their gritty determination begins to pay off. Looking back at her life (sexual history, botched romances, neurotic parents) while tracing her and John's bumpy progress toward marriage, what emerges is a provocative, courageously honest, poignant, and ultimately cheering chronicle of one woman's sexual odyssey. Ill-Equipped for a Life of Sex is the quintessential modern-era love story -- complete with confused expectations, myths of romantic love, and the overriding hope that a successful relationship can be forged from the rubble.
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Spotlight customer reviews:
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Customer Rating:
Summary: History of a volatile relationship in stunning, courageous detail
Comment: Nothing is held back in this revealing account of a woman's frustration with her husband's sexual apathy before and after marriage. With no identities concealed, Jennifer lays out in all its embarassing detail the story of her many years with John, during which the imbalance in sexual appetite left her chronically unfulfilled. Beyond the naked details of their sex life or lack thereof, the book also exposes all the young couple's hangups and anxieties about money, including sharply different attitudes and acute resentments around spending, saving, earning, and taking handouts from family, and how this all got processed in their individual and couples therapy. This is casebook-worthy material in its microscopic examination of the lovers' endless anguish over sex, money, family, career, love, marriage and much else in their day-to-day living. Jennifer has a distinctive writing style that may be a little snarky and off-putting in its over-use of multi-hyphenated sentences, but it is more than offset by her wit, self-revelations and exhaustive memory for family history. The book's authenticity is enhanced by the many candid snapshots of Jennifer and her early boyfriends and lovers. As befits a woman who has made a career of publishing custom-designed commemorative volumes for well-healed clients, this book has an exceptionally eye-pleasing format, typography, and lay-out.
A further note: I learned much from Jennifer's analysis and application of the influential 'imago theory' of psychologist Harville Hendricks -- showing how unhealed psychic wounds can become the foundation of a healthy committed relationship when the couple come to understand how they are re-enacting with each other the unfinished business of their childhood skirmishes with parents. In sum, you will find Jennifer gutsy, creative, audacious, and enormously talented -- and her riveting story of searching for love cannot fail to help anyone seeking to improve an intimate or family relationship.
Customer Rating:
Summary: superficial ramblings of a spoilt brat
Comment: The idea of this book is interesting, unfortunately the writer does not have the talent to use that idea.
Probably you will grow to hate the writer as much as I did. She is extremely spoilt, basically being supported by her parents and husband until she was over thirty. She just expects everyone to keep giving to her, spending huge amounts of other peoples money (that they can ill afford) on luxuries. She is so proud of all the accomplishments that she's made in therapy, but they're all pretty trite and obvious, at least to anyone over the age of about 18.
In addition to my dislike of the writer as a person, and the execution of the idea of the novel, the writing is also appalling. One other reviewer has called attention to the excessive use of hypenated phrases. Believe me, it's ridiculous and starts to grate. The general writing style is peppy and immature.
The font is badly chosen and the paragraphs widely spaced. The book is an awkward shape. About the only thing they got right was the cover design, which admittedly is quite nice.
I would definitely recommend that you stay away from this book, if you're looking for insightful and meaningful discussion.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Courageous and Honest Book
Comment: I'm so impressed with the courage and honesty of Jennifer and John Lehr to share their story- it's great to see and read about the not-so-Hollywood moments of relationships.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Proust meets Dorothy Parker
Comment: This book is good on every level. Not only is it a compelling and fun read, but it's also enlightening because Lehr is willing to explore and question even the sacrosanct levels of relationships usually kept at a safe, aspirational distance. "Ill-Equipped ..." reveals these accepted delusions and should be required reading for anyone interested in doing commitment better. The book touches on so much so honestly and effectively. Lehr is a gutsy, energetic and seemingly effortless writer, her tone accessible and universal. I'd put it up there with Proust and Dorothy Parker with regard to its humor and social insights. This is an important book.
Customer Rating:
Summary: Honest, raw, truthful, and blunt...
Comment: Being a fan of non-fiction, I scoured through the bookstore trying to find something I had not yet read AND something that was not related to anything involving politics or war. To my surprise, the cover of Jennifer Lehr's book stood out to me, so much so that I had to pick it up and check it out. I am so thankful that I did.
Not only does Jennifer's sense of humor parallel to many women in our society today, but she takes on the issues that most women, even in today's society, fear tackling. In a normal contrived setting, like that of Dr. Phil or Oprah, many women are comfortable yet hesitant to discuss sex and love in ANY negative sense. With the rise of shows like 'Sex and the City,' women are urged to discuss their sex and love lives, but never in a sense of neglect. Jennifer tackled this whole-heartedly, bluntly, and without regret. After all, her book is not telling women how to get a man, how to keep a man, or how to be attractive for a man. She speaks as an independent woman who knows what she wants in life and is not afraid to get it without compromising who she really is.
I would recommend this to anyone, male or female, who enjoy an honest gripping read, one without false pretense or pretty wrapping paper of a 'perfect' life. In a world of reality TV shoved down your throat, it's refreshing to not only read a REAL real story, but to have it be so 'out there' and 'in your face' that you find it endearing and realize that sometimes skeletons do not belong in closets. Your secrets, fears, wonders, and dramas need to be exposed sometimes; that's when you find yourself. I truly think Jennifer did that with this book.
You won't be bored and you'll find yourself spending an insane amount of time reading this in one sitting. Be prepared to laugh, to cry, and to say, "Oh my God, I've felt like that too!" The naked truth is always far better than fiction and Jennifer shows her soul. Who couldn't admire that?
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